Reflecting on ‘Being Single’

Although my blog is relatively new, I am celebrating more than a year of being single.  In fact, when filling out my income tax return today – I had to tell the government that my relationship status changed in 2011.  So as I reflect upon everything else that’s changed for me in this year, I bring you 2 lists…

 

First, Five weird and uncomfortable things I’ve noticed about being single:

1. Finding myself regularly ‘scoping’ a room for guys – this has become almost like an unconscious reflex – it’s really quick, and it usually leaves me with a subtle underlying feeling of disappointment (since the scan usually comes up dry!).  In fact, if I didn’t even notice myself doing the scan, I might even wonder why I’m feeling disappointed.
2. Having to notice details about people that I wouldn’t have previously cared about – like looking for wedding rings and doing mental calculus for ages (“is that grey hair? are those crows feet? how old do you think that makes him?”).
3. Having an addiction to my iphone (the single lady’s lifeline!).  Made significantly worse by having apps for facebook, or any of the dating sites (my phone makes constant noise at me… boop!  beep!  blurp!).
4. Realizing that my diet has five food groups – salad, hummus, burritos, sushi, and pizza (like 90% of what I put into my mouth falls into one of these categories).
5. Riding emotional rollercoasters (we females are particularly prone to over-analyzing and talking everything through with a dozen of our closest girlfriends, so this can get pretty insane!).

 And then to balance us out – here are Five things I’ve enjoyed most about being single:

1. The freedom to be irresponsible – I often find myself staying up way later than makes sense just because I can.
2. Discovering new hobbies (and rediscovering old ones) – like choir, samba, knitting, and guitar.
3. The creation of my blog – I’ve realized that I really enjoy writing, and the ability to share my narrative.
4. Dressing up – at least one night a week, I will actually wear high heels and make-up… sadly I was rarely seen out of yoga pants in my last long-term relationship!
5. Having a life – it’s become pretty rare for me to spend a night at home alone (there is just too much going on!).

Overall I would say that for me, this past year has been an exercise in trading security for excitement, boredom for anxiety, and comfort for commotion.  Can’t say I haven’t loved it – but I also can’t say I will miss it if it ends.